


Harder to Breathe

by AngelCastielRulesTheWorld



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Parent Alec Lightwood, Parent Magnus Bane, Pre-Canon, Pre-Season/Series 01, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Shy Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelCastielRulesTheWorld/pseuds/AngelCastielRulesTheWorld
Summary: 18 year old Alec is in turmoil about his upcoming parabatai bonding ceremony with Jace. He is torn between his loyalty to his friend and the laws that dictated parabatai’s could not love each other. He needed to clear his head, needed to decide which side of him would win, the loyalty to the Clave, or loyalty to the man he loved.As such he goes on a patrol that would change his life forever. It would bring him not only a responsibility to young warlock baby, but also into the life of one Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn. And after that meeting, nothing would ever be the same again. Pre-series Malec meet.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 51
Kudos: 280





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all. So I know I shouldn’t, but this has been going round in my head for a while and I really felt the need to write it. And now that I have finished one of my other stories over on FF.net (though I still have more than a few left on there to get through, and I will I promise) I decided to give it ago.
> 
> This is not beta’d so all mistakes are my own. I am also dyslexic and therefore any spelling or grammar mistakes that are not picked up by the computer will be missed by me, and as I try to keep my stories flowing I will not go back and edit chapters once they are posted. 
> 
> Also I am taking liberty with the story line of the show so this going to be a pre-series AU, especially as I have no idea how old Alec and Jace were when they became parabatai.

* * *

Alec walked down the night-lit street careless of the people who passed him. He wasn’t paying any attention to his surroundings, so it was lucky he had the innate sense a Shadowhunter possessed to make sure he didn’t bump into anyone. Being glamoured that could well cause problems. But again he wasn’t thinking about that. No he was thinking about what had happened earlier that day. He was thinking about the fact that he and Jace had passed the final test. That they had done all they needed to in the eyes of the Clave to be allowed to become parabatai.

It should have been a cause for celebration, knowing that all the work they had put in over the years was finally going to be rewarded. But Alec really wasn’t in the mood to do so. Because he was conflicted. So very, very conflicted. When he and Jace had started on this journey together two years ago he was all for becoming the parabatai of his best friend. Of making the brotherly bond they shared as official as they could. But now… now all he could think about was how his feelings for Jace had changed.

So much had changed in the two years it had taken them to get to this place. He had gone from a naïve 16 year old to what he was now. A man, who had feelings he should not for the man who was to become his parabatai. It had taken him quite some time to accept that he just wasn’t interested in women the way Jace was. But he had come to terms with that. Had acknowledged, in his own head at least, that he preferred men. Oh he knew that one day he would have to do his duty and marry. He was a Shadowhunter and one of their roles was to continue their bloodlines through children. He knew that, abstractly. Knew that sometime in the future that would be his life. But that future was very far away in his mind, and Jace, well Jace was here, now.

And Jace was… he was amazing. He was everything Alec wasn’t, and everything he wanted in a partner. When they were younger he would see the girls looking at Jace with longing and scoff at their obvious infatuation. And here was him, now doing exactly the same thing. He watched Jace train, watched how his muscles would ripple as he moved through the different sets, and it made his mouth water and hands just wanted to reach out and grab him. To reach out and pull the younger man to him so he could place his lips on Jace’s plump pink glistening ones. But that was never going to happen. Because no matter what decision Alec made, Jace was straight. So where did that leave him?

Well obviously it left him wandering alone along some Brooklyn street, supposedly on patrol, but in truth trying to work out if he could truly go through with the ceremony. Could he really become the parabatai to the man he loved? No. It was against the rules to love your parabatai in that way. But then, it was also against the rules to love a man that way, so either way he was screwed. Oh by the angel, what was he going to do? Was he really going to disappoint Jace, just because he had inconveniently gone and fallen in love with him? He could picture it now, Jace’s face when he told him he couldn’t be his parabatai. He would be crushed. Alec didn’t want to be the one to put that look on his face, not now, not ever.

But on the flip side, could he do it? Could he be that connected to the man he loved, and know his feelings were never returned? Could he truly bond with Jace in the deepest way possible, only to have to stand back and watch as he moved on with his life. Moved on to finding the perfect woman to love and settle down with? And that wasn’t even touching on the fact that Jace would know. He would not be able to hide it from his parabatai. Would never be able to hide his true feelings from him. It would not take the younger man long to realise Alec loved him. Just as he would know that Alec didn’t love his wife, when he finally got one, if he finally got one.

Oh by the angel, how was he supposed to make this decision? How was he supposed to choose between hurting Jace, and the rules he lived by? How was he supposed to choose between hurting Jace, and hiding the truth from him?

Suddenly Alec stopped walking at the entrance to an alley and moved his head so he could look up at the sky. He felt too closed in down here on the street, too involved in all that was happening around him even if he was invisible. He needed to be higher, up on the roof tops looking down on the world. It had always been his favourite place, and was one of the reasons he had chosen the bow as his weapon of choice. With that he could legitimately stay away from the world they protected, could keep everyone at a distance. Or well at least he had tried. But it seemed Jace and Izzy had never gotten that memo. They had pushed their way through all the barriers he put up, and they were the two people he loved more than anyone else in the world. But then, that was the problem he was trying to resolve wasn’t it? His love for Jace?

It was then it hit him. Izzy. She would tell him what to do, because if there was one thing he knew about his sister it was she had a sensible head on her shoulders. A rebellious sometimes idiotic head, but sensible all the same. Yes he would go and a talk to Izzy, she would set him on the right path, he knew it. With that decision made he was just about to turn around to return to the Institute when a scream cut through the air. A scream that was coming from the alley beside him, and was suddenly cut off in an alarming way.

Without thinking Alec had his blade in hand as he moved into the darkness of the alley. He would have pulled his bow, but the scream was too close. This was not going to be a long distance fight, no this was going to be up close and personal. And that idea put a smirk on his face as he moved forwards. A fight was just what he needed right then to clear his mind.

* * *

Mary Jane was so close. She knew she was. So close to the sanctuary that had been promised. So close to making sure her charge was safe. Whatever happened to her afterwards she did not care, but she could not let the bundle in her arms down. He did not deserve to die. Moving down an alley that would take her one step closer to her final destination she realised a moment too late that it was the wrong move. The scream was torn from her throat even as she hunched over the baby in her arms to protect him from the vicious swipe of the demon. As such there was nothing left that she could do to protect herself. She felt her skin being torn open on her back as she stumbled forwards, wrapping her bleeding body around her boy. If only she could keep him safe. If only someone would come and safe him, if only… she could feel the blackness crowding in on her mind and she knew she was not long for this world. Please someone, anyone, help me, she whispered to the winds a feeling of hopelessness descending upon her, because she knew no one was coming. No one was going to answer her prayers.

But then suddenly, there he was. An avenging angel stood at the end of the alley, a blade held confidently in his hand and she knew, someone was listening after all. She wanted to sigh in relief, wanted to give up now she knew someone was there who could take over her duty. But she knew she could not. She needed to hang on, because she needed to give her angel a message. Give him a message and the responsibility of the baby in her arms.

* * *

Alec saw the woman on the ground as soon as he fully entered the alley. He wasn’t sure if she was alive or dead, but that wasn’t what he concentrated on. No that was the demon that was standing over her, looking as if he was reaching down towards her to grab something. Alec didn’t care what it was the demon wanted, didn’t care what it was doing. All he cared about was killing it. Therefore without further thought he jumped over the prone body slashing the blade forwards in the way he had been taught from the moment he could walk. The demon seemed surprised by his arrival and Alec made use of that. He didn’t give it a chance to regain itself before he was cutting it again. Determined to weaken it enough that his final blow would kill it.

The fight was short and merciless on Alec’s side. But soon the demon was despatched back to Edom, leaving him alone in the ally with the body of the woman. It was only then, when he knew it was safe to do so, did he bend down to check and see if she still lived.

Her pulse was faint and thready and he knew she would not survive long. But he didn’t want her last moments to be alone, as such he moved so he could roll her over, with the intention of saying… something to the dying woman. But what he saw when he turned her made his eyes widen. Because there, wrapped tightly in her arms was a baby. Alec didn’t hesitate to carefully remove it from her arms, checking the child over to make sure he was okay. And he was a he, or at least that was the impression Alec got from the blue baby grow he was wearing.

“Tristan.” Came a weak rasping voice from his side.

“What?” Alec asked with a frown as he looked down at the woman. His name wasn’t Tristan and he knew he had never seen her before.

“His name.” the woman replied, and okay that made much more sense than her calling him Tristan.

At that Alec nodded, he wasn’t sure what else to say, not to mention he had no idea what he was going to do with the baby once the woman had passed, but he would worry about that in a bit. Surely if he took the boy back to the Institute they could find any family he had.

“Help him… here.” the woman said as with shaky hands she pulled out a piece of slightly burnt paper from her pocket. It took all her energy to do so. Took all her energy to give the angel in front of her the address she had been told would be her only hope.

“You want me to take him here? This is your family?” Alec asked as he frowned down at the Brooklyn address written on what he was sure was a fire message. Just who was this woman that she had one of these?

“His… His family.” the woman answered her eyes drifting to the baby as she tried to stop them from shutting. She wanted one last look at her son before she died. Wanted him to be the last thing she saw in this world before she moved onto the next. “Tell him, I loved him.” She whispered out, not even sure her words would reach the angels, but she had no more energy left. She had done what she had set out to do, it was up to her angel now. And with that thought she closed her eyes and released her last breath as she departed the mortal coil.

And Alec sitting next to her watched as the woman died. Watched as she breathed out and did not breathe in again. She was gone. With that realisation he sat back on his heels and looked down at the baby in his arms once more. He had no idea who she had been, nor who the child was to be attacked by a demon. He knew that protocol would dictate he took the child back to the Institute so they could find his family, but then he looked at the now blood strained piece of paper in his hand. He already knew who his family was didn’t he? What was the point of going to the Institute just to take the child to this address, especially when it wasn’t that far away?

Okay. He would take the child to this address and meet his family. If they seemed to be suitable he would leave Tristan with them and then return to the Institute and give his report. Yes that seemed the most sensible thing to do. With that decided he stood and walked out of the alley, not even taking one look back at the dead woman he was leaving behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. I would like to thank Shadowhunterfan8302, Lucystar, ValkyrieNyght, glitterglam13, Jan Miller, danieldanielson6, Princess_Kopyytko, thatfangirlEL for the awesome comments and kudos. 
> 
> So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it. I have tried to balance what would be Magnus and Alec's opinion of the other's race, with trying to get them to see each other. I hope I managed to achieve that.

* * *

Magnus Bane stood on his balcony, watching the world go by on the dark streets below. He couldn’t stop himself from looking at each and every person who approached his building, wondering if they were the one he was waiting for. He had been contacted not so long ago about a woman who had given birth to a Warlock. Had been told that the mother could not keep the child. Hearing that he hadn’t hesitated to offer his help to the baby. He didn’t care why the mother felt she could not care for her own child, all he knew was that a Warlock needed his assistance, and as such he would happily give it. He had sent his address to the one who had contacted him, and was waiting for the mother to arrive with his new charge. He had thought briefly of portalling to them to collect the baby that way, but he no idea how developed the young ones powers were, if at all. And he did not want to subject the child to the magic of portalling until he had a chance to carefully inspect its abilities. So he had chosen not to. Now he was starting to think that was a bad idea. They should have arrived by now, and the fact that they hadn’t was making him frown. He was just thinking of portalling to the person who had contacted him and trying to find something he could use to track the mother and child, when his doorbell rang.

Finally.

Moving quickly he released the lock on the door into his building, moving to stand by his doors to welcome the newest member of his people into his heart. It wasn’t until the mother and child moved through his wards he realised what was wrong. Because the mother was not the human he expected her to be. No she was a Nephilim, a Shadowhunter. Well that would certainty explain why she could not raise her own child. No Shadowhunter would be allowed to bring up a Downworlder, even if they were of their own flesh and blood. In fact Magnus was more than surprised that the half-angel woman had been allowed to carry her pregnancy to full term. The Clave must not have realised that the child was a demons spawn. Must not have realised the baby that she carried within her was the result of her failing to do her duty and kill the demon that had attacked her. For a moment he felt sorry for the Shadowhunter woman. He could only imagine how alone she must have felt at not being able to tell anyone of her attack. And the strength she must have to carry the Downworlder child to term and then rather than abandoning it, trying to find it a place where it would be loved and carried for. Hmm, it seemed there were still some decent Shadowhunters out there, even if they were few and far between.

All these thoughts went through Magnus mind as he waited for the mother and child to arrive at his doors and knock. Waited to hear the sound which would announce his new family had finally arrived.

* * *

Alec had frowned when he saw no name by the number of the apartment. Why would whoever lived here hide? It sent him on high alert, and as such he did not miss the feel of walking through wards as he made his way towards the apartment. The person here was either a very powerful Warlock, or they had paid one to protect them. But from what? Was the demon attack on the woman and child not the coincidence he had thought it was? Was Tristan’s family being targeted? If so maybe this wasn’t the safety place to leave the baby in his arms. But even if he believed that, he knew he couldn’t take Tristan away until he had met them. Until he had found out what the threat was. Maybe he could offer his assistance. He didn’t know how much help he could be, but he was a Shadowhunter, his duty was to fight and kill demons, to protect those who could not protect themselves.

Reaching the double doors of the apartment he frowned at the opulent decoration. Whoever lived here wasn’t trying very hard to hide, or maybe they thought the wards would be enough. Either way the frivolous decoration was unnecessary in his mind. But each to their own he supposed, as he shifted Tristan in his arms and he raised his other hand and knocked.

* * *

Magnus threw the doors open with a wave of his hand. After all the Shadowhunter mother knew who she was coming to see, so he had no reason to hide his powers. Of course what greeted him was most definitely not what he expected to see. Because the Shadowhunter holding the baby was not a woman, but a man. Or boy really, he could not be more than 18 years of age, he had barely entered into adulthood. Of course he was also a Shadowhunter, which meant he had fallen into a perfect fighting stance and had his blade in his hand before Magnus could raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“And who are you?” Magnus asked in a condescending tone. This boy did not frighten him. He had faced much worse in his long life.

“I think you should tell me, Warlock.” Alec growled back, holding the child in his arms tighter against his chest. He would not let this Downworlder harm him.

“Considering you are standing in my doorway, I don’t think so, Shadowhunter.” Magnus replied, causing magic to dance around his hands as he assessed the threat. He could feel the baby’s magic now. It was subtle but it was there. The child was the Warlock baby he had been waiting for, and he would not leave it in the hands of the Shadowhunters, even if he had to kill this boy to get to the baby.

Alec was pulled up short at those words. This was the Warlocks home? It made the wards make sense, and the lack of name by the apartment number. But what really caused Alec surprise was the fact that the woman who had given him charge of Tristan had said that whoever lived here was the baby’s family. Which meant the child was a Warlock. He couldn’t stop himself looking down at the sleeping baby in his arms, trying to see something which would declare the truth of that assumption. Looking for the baby’s Warlock mark that would pronounce him a Downworlder.

Magnus watched as the Shadowhunters eyes went to the baby in his arms. He saw the confusion cross his face as he studied it. Magnus wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he didn’t really care, he wanted the baby out of the Shadowhunters arms. “The baby belongs to me.”

“You are not his father.” Alec growled his eyes going back to the Warlock in front of him. He did not like the tone of voice he had spoken of Tristan in.

“No, but I am his family. The only family he has left.” Magnus replied with a shrug. It was true. He was the high Warlock of Brooklyn, and the baby was under his protection. He was family, and Magnus would make sure he was taken care of to the best of his abilities.

At that Alec conceded. He could take Tristan with him take him back to the Institute, but if the baby really was a Warlock he knew nothing good would happen to him if he entered the Claves hands. They would abandon him at best, and hurt him at worst, but he was only a baby. He had done nothing to harm anyone. How could he ever subject an innocent child to that? He couldn’t. He knew the only chance Tristan had was with this Warlock. But that didn’t mean he was just going to hand him over. He needed to know this man would take care of him before he gave him to him. Therefore taking a deep breath he put away his blade and stepped into the apartment before offering the only thing he could as a show of peace. “I am Alec Lightwood, of the New York Institute.”

That made Magnus eyebrows raise once more. This boy was a Lightwood? Would wonders never cease? Though as he looked closer at him he noticed a certain similarity to Maryse in his colouring and the delicate features of his face. So this was Robert and Maryse Lightwood’s boy. The heir to the New York Institute. But that wasn’t the main issue right then, the baby boy was. As such with a swish of his wrist the doors closed behind the Shadowhunter making him tense. Magnus couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face at that. But he could be friendly, the boy had put away his weapon after all, so it was obvious he wanted to talk. Therefore Magnus returned the olive branch that was offered. “Magnus Bane, high Warlock of Brooklyn. May I see the child?” He asked feeling very gracious that he wasn’t demanding the baby.

At that Alec nodded before carefully making his way to Magnus’ side. So this was the famous Magnus Bane. He had heard a lot about him over the years. Heard his parent’s opinion of the man. But he had never been one to take their words as gospel when they spoke of Downworlders. He knew they did not like them, but he didn’t have the same prejudices as them. He had met Downworlders who weren’t that bad. And he had heard how Magnus was a good leader of his people, how he cared for the Warlocks under his protection. So he knew he could trust this man with Tristan.

Magnus watched as the boy made his way to his side. Watched how he seemed to relax at hearing his name. He was marvelling at that. At the fact that his name seemed to relax the eldest child of the Lightwoods. No doubt they would be horrified to learn of that fact, not that he was planning on telling them, or talking to Maryse and Robert at all if he could possibly help it. When Alec was at his side he turned his eyes to the boy in his arms. He was beautiful. He looked so peaceful sleeping on his side, his hand clenched lightly in a fist close to his mouth as if he had been sucking on it before falling into slumber. He hadn’t seen a Warlock so peaceful in the presence of a Shadowhunter in a very long time, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Well hello there, gorgeous.” He whispered gently as he carefully moved the blanket back a little so he could see him better.

“His name is Tristan.” Alec responded in a slightly breathy tone. he didn’t know what was happening to him, but being this close to Magnus, at hearing how his voice softened when talking to the baby in his arms, seeing the beatific smile that crossed his face, it made his heart beat faster and his lungs feel as if he couldn’t get enough oxygen.

“Tristan. That is a strong name, for a strong boy isn’t it, darling?” Magnus replied not looking away from the baby as he gently stroked the back of his finger across the baby’s cheek. His skin was silky soft, though he felt a little warm. That caused his to frown before speaking again.

“I think we need to get him out of these things. We don’t want him over heating do we?” He asked turning his eyes up to the Shadowhunter for the first time. It was only then that he realised just how close they were standing. Only then that he had a chance to look at this boy up close. And in doing so he realised Tristan wasn’t the only beautiful one. Alec’s eyes shone with emotions and feeling, even while his face was a stoic mask.

Oh. It had been many years since someone had made this much of an impression on him, and Magnus couldn’t tear his eyes away from the hazel ones that had captured his own. Couldn’t stop himself taking his fill at looking at the beautiful Shadowhunter standing so close to him. It would take very little to close the distance between them and seal his lips upon Alec’s, and he knew by the look in his Shadowhunters eyes that Alec would accept it. Would enjoy it. But as much as the hedonistic part of Magnus felt it would be a great idea to tangle himself with this Shadowhunter, would be even more fun to watch how Alec would deal with the consequences of finding a Downworlder attractive, he knew it would be counterproductive to Tristan. So instead he took a step back from Alec, waiting for him to move the baby so they could remove his outdoor coverings.

As soon as Magnus stepped back Alec blinked and found he could breathe again. He had no idea what had just happened, had no idea what was going on, he was just glad that now Magnus was not so close he could think again. Maybe the Warlock had put a spell on him? That was possible, right? Because any other conclusion was not one Alec was even willing to consider. So instead of letting his mind come up with other suggestions, he turned his eyes back to Tristan and carefully moved him so he could dislodge the blanket he was wrapped in slightly. Of course that caused the baby to stir and Alec to automatically hold him closer, as he used to do to Max when he was this young.

“I guess he doesn’t want us to unwrap him.” He responded, repositioning Tristan so he was once more secure in the blanket and his arms.

“Hmm. Well at least we should take off his hat.” Magnus replied. He did not have much experience with babies. After all it was not like he had been round many in his long life. And any he did come across he usually left to Catarina. But still he moved, so he could carefully remove the soft cotton baby hat Tristan was wearing. It was then that the child was a Warlock became very clear. Because there, pushing up through his baby soft hair was two little nubs that could only be the start of horns.

“Well at least we know why your mother could not keep you, don’t we sweet pea?” Magnus mumbled softly, gently running his fingers over the developing horns. Of course that caused him to frown. He had forgotten about the mother in the revelation that it had been Alec that had brought him the child.

“What happened to her? His mother?” he asked the Shadowhunter looking up at him once more.

“A demon attack. I couldn’t save her, but she gave me him and asked me to bring him here, to you.” Alec replied staring at the newly forming horns on the baby’s head. He had never seen a baby Warlock, had never seen a Warlocks mark so clearly displayed on such a small body. He wasn’t sure what to make of it and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them, or the dark purple painted nails that were softly running over them.

“Ah.” Magnus responded not sure what else he could say to that. He felt for the dead woman. Not only had she been raped by a demon to produce the child in Alec’s arms, but she had also been killed by one. No one deserved either fate in his mind.

Alec frowned as he remembered the demon. Remembered how it had seemed to be reaching down to grab something from the woman. It did not take a genius to work out what the demon had wanted. “I think they were targeted.” He said still frowning as he looked down at Tristan. He didn’t want to think about what the demon would have done with the baby. But he knew he would not let anyone hurt him.

“I know little of his mother so I do not know if that is true. I only know she wanted him to be taken care of.” Magnus replied, though his mind was thinking quickly about Alec’s words. He did not dismiss them. Shadowhunters were raised for one purpose in life and that was to fight demons. If Alec said that Tristan and his mother were targeted, he believed him. Though it would change his plans somewhat.

“So what now?” Alec asked, wondering what Magnus would do with the baby in his arms. He wanted to know where Tristan was going to go, because he needed to know he was going to be safe. Needed to know that he could be there to protect him if he needed it.

“I have people who can care for him. Do not worry.” Magnus replied simply. He had planned on asking Catarina to care for the baby, but he could not do that if he was being targeted. But he was not ready to tell a Shadowhunter what was going to happen to the defenceless child.

“But if he is being targeted, can they protect him?” Alec responded, his arms tightening automatically around Tristan and his other hand unconsciously hovered over his blade. As if he was ready to slay any that could pose as a threat to the boy in his arms.

“That is a good question.” Magnus replied, though he was speaking less of the words Alec had spoken and more of his unconscious actions. He tilted his head as stared at the scene in front of him. At the Shadowhunter who it seemed already had a protective instinct for the Warlock baby in his arms. He had never seen anything like it, even when he had gotten along with Shadowhunters, they had never protected Downworld children as they did their own. But the look in Alec’s eyes told him that this one was different than the rest. He would protect Tristan. It seemed Alec had bonded with baby on the journey to him, and Magnus had to decide if he was willing to risk exposure to more Shadowhunters to make sure that bond remained.

Because he could see how useful it would be to have the heir of the New York Institute bonded with a Warlock child. Could see how he had the chance, through Tristan, to show Alec that Downworlders are not what his parents and the Clave thought. He had the chance to help change this Shadowhunters opinion on his people, and through him bring more Shadowhunters to siding with the Downworlders. Because Alec was not just a Shadowhunter, he would eventually have power in the Clave as an Institute head. He would have the power to help shape change in the new generation of Shadowhunters he would lead. But was it worth the risk? Well there really was only one answer to that. Anything that would help his people, was worth the risk. Therefore he straightened as he spoke once more. “I will keep him here with me, until I know it is safe for him.”

At that Alec frowned again as he looked around the apartment. The apartment that was filled with fragile and beautiful objects. The apartment that was in no way baby proof. “Umm, no offense, but do you know how to care for a baby?” He asked his eyes returning to the Warlock in front of him. He didn’t mean to be rude, but it was a valid question in his mind.

“Humans do it all the time. It can’t be that hard.” Magnus responded with a wave of his hand dismissing the question. I mean seriously, how hard could it be?

“Right.” Alec replied sarcastically. Because he knew just how hard looking after a baby was. He had helped with Max enough to know that. But at least that experience would mean he could help Magnus get everything he would need and learn how to look after Tristan. And not once did it cross Alec’s mind to not offer his help to Magnus. Not once did he think that there was no doubt someone that Magnus knew who could tell him all the things he needed and what to do better than Alec could. All he wanted was to make sure Tristan was going to be okay, and if that meant he would be helping Magnus learn how to be a parent, well then he was more than willing to do that. The baby boy in his arms deserved the best after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears. I would like to thank Shikava, 4QuietRyt3r, Jynifer996, Abeham, danieldanielson6, Ivydragon, Shadowhunterfan8302, Princess_Kopyytko, Biltong44, Madariini, MissDawnn and thatfangirlEL for the wonderful comments and kudos.
> 
> So here is the next chapter I hope you like it, and I hope I have the characters right. I always thought that Izzy was very insightful, as well as having a single focus when it comes to problem solving. So I hope I have got that across. Anyway enjoy.
> 
> Also I have to confess, I had one of the L’Enfant (man and baby) posters years ago when I was a young girl, and I couldn’t help but reference it here. Anyone interested to see what it looks like, I'd advise you google it.

* * *

Alec had moved to sit on one end of the couch Tristan still firmly held in his arms, while Magnus sat at the other. The Warlock couldn’t help but stare at the strange vision of a Shadowhunter gently rocking a Warlock baby while whispering quiet words to him. To be honest he had never considered a day where he would see such a strange sight. But while it was strange, it was also a very attractive sight. Magnus himself had never prescribed to the whole man and baby poster craze of late 1980’s UK. Had never really understood why it was women suddenly went gooey over a man showing his parental side. But he had to say, seeing it in Alec, was definitely a sight worth seeing, and maybe if he had been the model Magnus would have taken a second look.

“You’ll need to get some formula, bottles a changing bag and some diapers, and if possible a couple of changes of clothes before he wakes up.” Alec said interrupting the silence as he turned his eyes from the baby in his arms to the Warlock sitting on the other end of the couch. Because as much as Tristan was currently being extremely well behaved, it was mainly because he was still sleeping, and He knew that would change the minute the baby boy woke up. They needed to be prepared for when that happened.

“Very well.” Magnus replied thinking for a moment about what Alec had said they needed, before performing an elaborate swish of his hand, causing everything that Alec had suggested to be spread out across the coffee table in front of them.

Alec looked at the mass of items and couldn’t stop his eyebrow rising. “Handy.” He murmured, a smirk appearing on his lips when his word got a snort of amusement out of the High Warlock. But now they had all the things Tristan would need in the immediate future it was time for Magnus to learn some parenting, the best way possible. By being thrown in the deep end. As such Alec stood and without any ceremony he dumped the sleeping baby into Magnus’ arms, which quickly wrapped around his precious child.

“What-“ Magnus stated to ask in a startled voice as he found himself suddenly holding the baby.

“I am going to get a bottle ready for when he wakes.” Alec responded and not waiting to hear Magnus’ reply he stood, grabbing the items he needed from the table and making his way into the kitchen. After all as much as he enjoyed holding Tristan, he needed to make sure everything was ready for him when he woke, and he needed to make sure it was right. Best way to do that was to do it himself.

“Hmm, your Shadowhunter is rather silly isn’t he, sweet pea? It is as if he has forgotten I can do magic. I can prepare you a bottle without moving from our current position. Oh I know, it’s all new to him, and I promise to make allowances. After all we don’t want to scare the pretty Shadowhunter away now do we?” Magnus murmured quietly to the sleeping baby in his arms. He couldn’t stop the smile that was spreading across his face as he watched the child sleeping. As he watched the baby boy who was the closest thing he was ever going to have a child, no matter how short his time with him was going to be. Because while he would keep Tristan with him while there was a threat to the baby, he knew there would come a time when he would need to let go. When he would need to give the boy up to others who could give him a better childhood than Magnus could even imagine. But that didn’t matter, he would take what he could get now, the future would settle itself eventually.

Alec for his part keep a subtle eye on Magnus and Tristan as he moved around the kitchen finding everything he needed to make up the bottle of formula. He wanted to make sure that the baby was being cared for, that the Warlock could indeed delicately handle the child as he should. And he wanted to make sure Magnus didn’t do something stupid, like put him down somewhere he could fall off if he rolled over. He wasn’t sure if Tristan as old enough to do that yet, but he was firmly in the belief that it was better to be safe than sorry.

And it was purely for those reason he watched, and not because the sight of them together stirred something inside him that he had never felt before. Nope it was definitely not that reason, that was for sure. He kept telling himself that while he prepared the bottle for when Tristan woke, though how well he actually believed those words was a question that would remain unanswered as the silence of the loft was broken by the cry of a baby.

“I didn’t do anything.” Magnus cried in alarm at the sound coming from the child. Who knew babies could be so loud?

“He is probably hungry.” Alec responded moving into back into the livingroom the bottle in hand.

“Then feed him.” Magnus replied in an agitated voice, holding the baby out as if he was going to explode. Though in truth he wasn’t sure he hadn’t already, as not only was he making that frightful sound, he also smelt something terrible.

“I think we best change him first.” Alec responded, taking the baby and catch a whiff of what had mostly likely been the real reason Tristan had awoken.

“Be my guest.” Magnus replied with a slight smirk. Because while he was more than capable of changing the boys diaper with just a click of his fingers, he felt he would get far more enjoyment from watching the Shadowhunter struggle doing it the human way first.

“I’ll do this one. But you will need to learn so you can do the next.” Alec answered, before he grabbed the changing bag with one hand, the other still holding the crying baby close to his chest. He then proceeded to extract the changing mat, wipes and clean diaper like an expert. It gave Magnus the idea that maybe this wasn’t the first baby Alec Lightwood had had to change. How very intriguing, though he couldn’t help but wince as he placed the mat down on the priceless Persian rug. Oh well, he could always remove any mess Alec or Tristan made easily enough he supposed, or you know, buy another one.

Alec made quick work of changing the dirty diaper, keeping up a running commentary of what he was doing for Magnus. He wanted to make sure that the Warlock knew how to do this next time, as baby’s needed a lot of changing. And it wasn’t like he could stay much longer, he still needed to report the demon attack and return from the patrol he was still supposedly on.

When Tristan was finally clean Alec moved to sit back on the couch, leaving the changing things where he had placed them. No point putting them away until Magnus got a changing station set up. He then picked up the bottle, and with infinite care placed the teat at Tristan’s mouth. Not a second later he was drinking.

Magnus couldn’t help but be surprised at how efficiently the Shadowhunter had taken care of the ‘issue’ and he could think of only one reason for that. “So you have children of your own?” He asked. Because as much as he was sure this Shadowhunter was barely a man, it was the only reason he could come up with to explain he proficiency. Not to mention that he knew Shadowhunters married young, just as they died young.

At that question Alec smiled down at the baby in his arms. “No, I have a younger brother though.” He replied. The words Magnus had spoken had unintentionally stirred something inside of Alec. And looking down at the baby in his arms he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to be holding his own child. Wonder what it would feel like to hold his own flesh and blood. That thought caught him by surprise, but it was a good one. A good thought, that he would enjoy looking after his own child, when the time came. For while he had always enjoyed looking after Max, he had never felt towards him as he did the orphaned boy currently in his arms. He had always known he was his brother, but Tristan, Tristan made him think of other possibilities, that had never entered his head before. Made him think of that future where he would be married with a family as something other than a prison sentence where he had to give up who he was for the beliefs and duties to the Clave. No, for the first time he was thinking about what he could gain from the marriage, namely children of his own.

“Ah. That explains it then.” Magnus replied, deciding to ignore the relieved feeling he got at hearing that Alec did not have children. He did not want to investigate the why of that. But even as he thought this he couldn’t help but move closer to Alec and Tristan, watching as the younger of the two drank the bottle held in the older’s hands. “You are very good at this.” he continued with, smiling up at the Shadowhunter he was now sitting next to.

“Thanks.” Alec responded slightly breathless once more. He didn’t understand why it was he felt that way. What it was about Magnus that caused him to react in a way that he had never done to anyone else before. But now was not the time to study that. Therefore he turned back to Tristan just in time to see the last of the bottle disappearing into his sleepy mouth. “Here, why don’t you burp him while I clean up.” he continued with a completely straight face. After all the best way for Magnus to learn that he needed to protect his clothes was the hard way. And if Alec was going to get amusement from it, well it was only fair as he had changed the baby’s diaper.

“Of course.” Magnus replied taking the child carefully and holding him on his shoulder and rubbing his back as he had seen other parents do. He felt inordinately proud when Tristan gave a small sound, though much less so when he felt the wet patch seeping through his clothes on his shoulder.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” he growled half-heartedly at Alec, who was kneeing by the changing mat collecting together the dirty diaper and wipes. And Alec, well he could only chuckle in response. That caused Magnus to roll his eyes, even as he wiggled his fingers over his shoulder to clean up the mess before resettling Tristan in his arms and watching the baby fall back to sleep.

“So you are going to need to get a lot more things, I can write you a shopping list before I go, if you’d like?” Alec said, moving back to the couch and sitting down once more, though not as close to Magnus as he had been before.

“I would like that.” Magnus replied, purposely forgetting he could just as easily ask Catarina for her input on what he needed to take care of Tristan.

And that was how, not much later Magnus found himself sat on the couch with only Tristan for company staring a piece of paper filled with a list and his phone number in Alec’s elegant scrawl, and the Shadowhunters parting words that he would see them both soon ringing in his ears.

“Well it seems your Shadowhunter thinks we need to go shopping. But we know better don’t we, sweet pea? We’ll get Auntie Catarina over here, and then we can summon whatever it is you will need. And I think it is a lot more than is on this list. I mean there is no mention of cute little designer outfits, or cuddly toys. And you need lots of both don’t you, my little Tristan?” Magnus murmured to the sleeping baby in his arms. He couldn’t quite get his head around how his life had suddenly changed, but he also couldn’t convince himself that the change was bad one. After all he now had the cutest little baby Warlock to ever grace the earth, not to mention his pretty Shadowhunter protector. Yes, while this may not have been how he had planned for this to go, he certainly couldn’t say he disproved of the developments.

* * *

Alec returned to the institute his mind still on Tristan and Magnus, hoping that the baby was okay being looked after by the High Warlock. And almost without conscious thought he was already planning when he could next get away to see them both, to make sure Tristan was doing well, and make sure nothing had threatened the boy while he hadn’t been there to protect him. But he still had his own job to do, and as such he was planning on going straight to his parents to make his report, but before he could his sister ran up to him.

“Alec, where have you been?” She demanded upon spotting him entering the Institute.

“Patrolling. There was a demon attack.” Alec replied deciding not to mention the baby. I mean there was no point. Tristan was with Magnus and the Warlocks, it would just cause issues that he did not need if he told anyone about him.

“Well, I am glad you are okay, but Jace has been looking for you everywhere.” Izzy responded, after a moment where she ran her eyes over her brother to make sure he was in fact okay.

“Oh.” Alec responded. It was only then that he realised the whole time he was dealing with Tristan, he hadn’t once thought of Jace and the reason he had gone on patrol in the first place. Namely the choice of whether to become his parabatai or not, not to mention his feelings for his brother.

“Yes, oh. You’re not having second thoughts are you?” Izzy asked, with narrow eyes. She had always had a way of being able to see through her brother’s masks. See behind the facade he showed to the world. And well, his single sound response really was rather telling in her mind.

“I… well-“ Alec started as he tried to guide her away from any others while he tried to think of the words to use to express his worry. The worry he had not thought of for the last few hours with Tristan and Magnus.

“Alec. Ever since Jace arrived, all you have both talked about is becoming parabatai. You will never get another chance at this. Don’t throw it away.” Izzy interrupted. She did not need to hear what her brother was about to say. She could guess well enough. But while she knew Alec was convinced he loved Jace, she didn’t believe it. Sure she could accept he had a crush on him, I mean who didn’t? Even she had had a time where she thought her and Jace would end up happily ever after together, though luckily that was a long time ago and she had recovered her brain cells from that stupidity. Not to mention the fact that even if Alec didn’t go through with the parabatai bond, he and Jace would never be together. I mean that boy was such a ladies man.

“But, Izzy-“ Alec tried again, tried once more to find the words to explain to his sister why he couldn’t go through with it.

“I know. But there will be others, you will never have another parabatai.” Izzy interrupted once more with a determined voice. She needed him to see that. Needed Alec to understand that what he felt for Jace was nothing. That one day he would find someone who made him truly happy, that completed him in a way Jace never could. But she also needed him to understand that needed Jace still, needed him as his brother, just as much as Jace needed him as his. They needed each other, needed to become parabatai, it was as clear as day to her, and she was not going to let Alec throw that away just because of some stupid crush.

“Okay.” Alec responded, surrendering to her onslaught of words. He still didn’t know if he was going to go through with the ceremony, but her words, her conviction in them, well it certainly gave him another opinion to consider.

* * *

It was much later after he had given his report to his parents, neglecting to mention Tristan or Magnus, that he came across Jace. He stood in the shadows as he watched him flirt with one of the girls that always seemed to be hanging around him. And for the first time he noticed that seeing him, seeing the two together didn’t send such a large stab through to his heart. He didn’t know why, maybe it was because subconsciously he knew he was going to become his parabatai and as such nothing could happen between them? Or maybe it was the idea that Magnus had put into his head when he had asked if he had children, at the idea of wanting a family of his own someday and knowing that he and Jace could never have that? But whatever it was, Alec could only be grateful for it. Because it showed as nothing else could that there would be a day, one day, where he wouldn’t be in love with Jace. That one day he would be free of his feelings for him, and that confirmed as nothing else could that Jace was meant to be his parabatai.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears. I would like to thank LovemAlec, Artemisarrows, Jissy2013, Biltong44, CardcaptorGhost and Jynifer996 for the awesome comments and kudos.
> 
> So sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I had a bit of a writer’s block about where this story is going, still do in fact, so I can’t promise regular updates. 
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Magnus waited until it a reasonable time to call Catarina and ask her to come over to check Tristan. When she arrived he made no mention of the Shadowhunter who had brought him the child or offered to help show him how to look after the baby. He felt it better that she did not know of that development. No that would stay his and Alec’s little secret. As such he asked for her advice about what he would need for the child, which Catarina had to say shocked her. She would have thought Magnus would send the baby to someone else, someone more… experienced in being a parent. But she did not voice any of these thoughts or any concerns she might have had, and instead gave him a list of everything he would need. A list that was remarkably similar to the one Alec had written for him though hers did include some of the things he hadn’t considered, like toys.

When she had gone Magnus looked down at the baby sleeping on the soft blanket Catarina had magic’d up for just that purpose, and he wondered what to do now. He knew he needed to get the stuff on both the lists, but it wasn’t like he actually needed to leave the house to do so, nor would it take much time. As such he was wondering what he was supposed to do for the rest of day. Just what did people do when babies slept? As from what he could tell that was what Tristan spent most of his time doing. So how was he going to entertain himself? Oh he could go and do some work in his workshop, but he did not think it would be a good idea to have Tristan around some of the potions he needed to create. Not to mention the procedure for the making of most was rather delicate and wasn’t something that could be interrupted to deal with a crying child.

Hmm, he was going to need to see about getting a nanny of some sort. Because he would need to do his work at some point, not to mention going to his club. Of course as he thought this the idea of perhaps asking Alec for his help flashed in his mind, but he soon dismissed it. If he was to invite the Shadowhunter into his home again, he would not want to waste the time with him working. And he justified this to himself that spending more time with Alec and Tristan would help persuade the man to being friendly to Downworlders. He couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity to help make Alec see the truth of Downworlders, and it had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to spend time with him. Nope nothing at all.

* * *

Alec spent his day training with Jace and Izzy, while also preparing for his parabatai ceremony that was to take place the following day. Or at least that is what he was supposed to be doing, though he found that his mind turned to Tristan and Magnus an alarming number of times throughout the day. Wondering how they were doing and if Magnus had managed to get all the things he had told him he needed. Wondering if Magnus was surviving looking after the baby on his own. It got so bad that when the evening fell Alec knew he needed to get out of the Institute. Both Jace and Izzy had noticed he had something on his mind, and he wasn’t prepared to tell either of them what it was. As such he decided he would go on patrol, and if that patrol was alone and just happened to take him to Brooklyn, well there was nothing wrong with stopping by Magnus’ and making sure that the two Warlocks were okay now was there? After all there was still the threat to Tristan from the demon he had fought the previous night, it was his duty to make sure the baby was okay.

Or at least that was his justification for once more finding himself outside the High Warlock of Brooklyn’s building.

* * *

Magnus had just settled Tristan in his brand new cot when he felt someone walk through his wards. His eyebrow rose when he noticed their signature, even as he smiled down at the sleeping baby. “It seems your Shadowhunter just can’t stay away. Such a shame isn’t it?” He murmured softly before leaving the nursery he had set up and moving so he could open the door for Alec before he could even knock.

“Alec, well this is a surprise. What I can I do for the New York Institute this evening?” Magnus asked with a smile up at the slightly startled man standing in his doorway.

“Oh, umm. I’m not here on Institute business.” Alec replied blinking in surprise at the sight of the Warlock looking far calmer than he thought he would be. Especially considering he had been looking after a baby on his own all day. Or at least Alec believed that was what he had been doing, but what if he had decided to send Tristan away? What if the baby wasn’t even here for him to see and protect?

“Well in that case, come on in. Can I get you a drink?” Magnus asked as he held the door open for the man still standing on the other side. He could see thoughts flitting through the Shadowhunters eyes, but he knew better than to try and pry. No the only way he would find out what was going on in the other man’s head was by cultivating a friendship with him, and creating an atmosphere of trust.

“No thank you. I just came to make sure Tristan was okay.” Alec responded his eyes tracing the livingroom but not seeing the baby anywhere, which caused him to tense slightly as if the lack of child was confirming his thought that Magnus had sent him away.

“He is in his nursery. I have just put him down.” Magnus replied moving to mix himself and his guest a cocktail, because even if Alec had said he did not want a drink, Magnus was sure he would be too impolite to refuse when he was given one. And that way he could keep him here a little bit longer.

At Magnus words Alec felt himself blushing slightly. He had been thinking the worst of the Warlock, thinking he had sent the baby away where he couldn’t protect him, and instead he had given the boy his own nursery. He couldn’t believe he had thought the worst of Magnus when the other man hadn’t given him any concern to do so. As such Alec felt it best if he left. Therefore he started to say, “Oh. In that case I should go-“ but he was quickly cut off by Magnus.

“Don’t be silly. You must see his nursery, and he will no doubt be awake in a few hours for a feed. You don’t want to miss that do you?” Magnus interrupted already moving towards the door he had just closed, and gesturing Alec to follow him. He didn’t want Alec to leave yet, he needed to spend time getting to know him and vice versa, he needed Alec to learn that Downworlders were no different to Shadowhunters. In fact in Magnus somewhat bias opinion they were better, or at least better than most. Alec was the rare exception in Magnus’ mind.

Alec didn’t even think about not following Magnus, and when he got to the open door he felt his eyes going wide at what he saw in front of him. In the centre of the room was an elaborate cot and the changing stations and other bits and piece he had suggested Magnus get were dotted around the walls. But that wasn’t what was causing Alec’s shock, no that was the mounds of stuffed toys that filled one side of the room, ranging in size from a few inches to ones that would reach up to his waist. He had never seen so many outside of a toy store. It was, well he didn’t have words to describe it. “Wow this is…”

“I may have gone a little over board.” Magnus responded with playful bashfulness as he looked up at Alec through his eyelashes.

“A little?” Alec asked turning his wide eyes to the Warlock at his side. I mean there was going overboard, and then there was… this.

“He deserves the best of everything.” Magnus defended lightly. He had never had the chance to have such toys when he was growing up, and there was no way he wouldn’t take the chance to spoil the baby who was now in his care. Because even if and when Tristan went to a new home, Magnus wanted to make sure he was his favourite uncle. The baby boy would never want for anything in his life, Magnus would make sure of that.

“I’m sure he does, but I doubt he needs all of this.” Alec replied waving his hand at the mass of cuddly toys. There was enough there to keep a whole orphanage of children happy he was sure.

“He may not need it, but I want to give it to him. Warlock children rarely get the best childhoods, and few ever get all the toys that they deserve. I will not let that be Tristan’s life.” Magnus responded, though this time his tone clearly stated that this was not up for debate. He would give the child everything he possibly could without question.

At that Alec turned and really looked at Magnus. He could see in his eyes a hidden hurt, and he couldn’t help but wonder just what the Warlocks own childhood was like. He spoke as if he had first-hand experience of the way Warlock children were treated, and Alec found he really didn’t like that idea. But he pushed that aside, as well as any possible reasons he could have for feeling that way and instead focused his mind on Tristan. “He is luckily to have you.” he replied sincerely, a soft smile gracing his lips as he did so.

“He is luckily to have you to. After all without you he would not be here.” Magnus responded returning the smile as he stared up into the Shadowhunters eyes. Stared into their hazel depths and marvelled in the feel of Alec’s full focus being on him alone. Tristan’s Shadowhunter really did have the most gorgeous eyes.

Alec returned the stare, falling into the deep brown eyes of the Warlock in front of him, his breathing accelerating as he did so. He couldn’t pull himself away for far longer than was strictly polite, and when he finally managed to look elsewhere it took another second or two before he could even out his heart rate. He had no idea what was causing this reaction in him, and he really didn’t want to think about it too hard. He had a feeling that that would not lead to anywhere good. As such he was pleased when he was finally able to reply to Magnus’ words.

“I was just doing my job.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t stop me from thanking you for doing so, or being happy that you did. Now come, have a drink.” Magnus responded gently, moving away from the nursery and towards the drinks he had been previously mixing. He, unlike Alec, had a very good idea of what had just occurred between them and he felt a definite need for a drink before he even tried to process it. Or more to the point, considered what he was going to do about the mutual attraction between himself and Tristan’s Shadowhunter, or if he was going to do anything at all.

“Okay just one.” Alec replied with a nod of his head as he followed Magnus across the room. He still felt slightly off kilter from the staring, maybe a drink would be just the thing he needed to help settle him down once more. And he flatly refused to even try and think about why staring at the Warlock had affected him so.

“Of course.” Magnus agreed, though he hid a smirk from the young man as he said that. Best not let him see that he doubted Alec would be there for only one drink.

Once the cocktails were mixed and in the appropriate hands, Magnus waved Alec to the couch, moving to sit close to him, but making sure there was enough space between them that Alec would not feel uncomfortable. His aim was not to scare the man away after all, though if he had read what had just happened between the two of them correctly, and he knew he had, well let’s just say getting to know the Shadowhunter would be even more interesting in Magnus’ mind. He really was remarkably attractive as well as being kind. It was a rather dangerous combination. One that Magnus knew he would be unable to resist.

They sat in silence as they both took a sip of their drinks, Magnus taking great delight in the way Alec scrunched up his nose at the sharp taste of alcohol. It was adorable, almost as cute as Tristan had been earlier when he was lying on his new blanket waving his arms around and babbling to himself. But no. Those were thoughts he should not be having right then. He was supposed to be making friends with Alec, not falling for his pretty face and mannerisms. That could come later.

“So tell me Alec, you said you had a brother do you have any other siblings?” Magnus asked into the silence, deciding it best to get to know the other man as much as he could. And he was sure siblings were a safe enough topic of conversation.

“Yes, I have a sister and an adoptive brother. Though Jace and I have our parabatai ceremony tomorrow.” Alec replied simply, the words coming out without any thought to who he was talking to. He had spent his life with Shadowhunters, and it did not cross his mind that maybe Magnus would not understand the importance of the parabatai bond until the words had been spoken.

“Congratulations.” Magnus responded sincerely. He knew what it took for Shadowhunters to find their other part of themselves in such a way. Understood as he doubted any other Downworlder would, what those words truly meant to the man beside him.

“Thanks?” Alec replied, feeling confused by how sincere Magnus was with his words. He did not understand how the Warlock could understand what finding his parabatai meant to him, meant to Shadowhunters in general. It was a Shadowhunter ritual, and one not shared with Downworlders. So how did Magnus know?

“I have known parabatai’s before, and I know what a great honour it is to find that person and create a bond with them.” Magnus responded to the unasked question. He could see the confusion in Alec’s eyes and he wanted to dispel it.

“You have?” Alec asked in surprise. He had never known another Shadowhunter who was friendly enough with Downworlders to discuss the parabatai’s with them. In fact he had never known any Shadowhunter who was friendly with a Downworlder full stop. They came from two very separate worlds after all.

“I have lived many lives, Alec. There was a time I was close to the Shadowhunters, working with them and being their friends. So yes, I have known parabatai before.” Magnus replied with a soft smile and a faraway look in his eyes as he remembered those that were gone. Those who he had considered his friends in times past. Remembered the good times from over the years he had existed.

“Oh.” Was all Alec could think to say to that. He had forgotten for a moment that this man was not the mid-twenties he looked. He was in fact a centuries old powerful being. It was so strange, Alec really couldn’t get his head around that idea. “What’s that like? Living so long?” He asked turning to look at the man beside him, trying to find a way to understand.

“Wonderful, painful, happy, sad. It is indescribable. But then I imagine everyone’s life is like that. Some are just longer than others.” Magnus replied, trying to think of a way to describe something that he had no words to describe. How could he explain to someone who he doubted had even seen two decades, what living for centuries was like?

“Yeah, I guess.” Alec responded, turning his eyes away from the man at his side as he thought over his own life. As he thought over what he had experienced, which inevitably brought to his mind the feelings he had for Jace and the confusion he was still feeling about becoming his parabatai, even if he had realised earlier that day that there could be a day when he did not feel for him anymore. That didn’t stop him from loving him now, and all the pain that he knew it was going to cause when they formed their bond. When he felt Jace loving another, when he felt him being with another.

“What is it?” Magnus asked with a frown marring his face as he studied the young man at his side who it seemed had gotten lost in his own thoughts. And if the look of desolation in his eyes was anything to go by, they were not happy ones.

“Nothing.” Alec responded, pulling his mind away from Jace and his feelings and turning it back to the here and now. He found it surprisingly easy to do, to turn from thinking about Jace to instead being here with Magnus. He didn’t know what that meant, but he was glad for it.

At that Magnus thought for a moment, debating with himself if he should challenge the younger man or not. But he knew he needed to say something if he wanted them to become friends eventually. Therefore in a carefully neutral tone he spoke. “Alec, you can tell me anything, you know that, right? Whatever it is I will not judge, and anything you say here, will not go any further.”

At those words Alec looked at Magnus, he could see the sincerity in his eyes. And while he knew there was no way he could tell him what he had been thinking, I mean he barely knew the guy, he couldn’t help but be thankful for the offer. As such he responded in the only way he felt he could. “Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. Now tell me of your sister.” Magnus replied, guiding the conversation away from anything too heavy, or at least he hoped he did. Alec knew he would be there for him if he needed him to be, and that was all Magnus could do. He could not force the man to talk, and he wouldn’t want to. He could be patient, he would wait to gain Alec’s trust, just as he would wait to give his own.

With that question Alec started telling stories of his siblings and the trouble they got up to, lightening the heavy atmosphere so the room was soon filled with laughter and joy, and no shadows were allowed to enter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears. I would like to thank Cryptical_Marionette, Jynifer996, Shadowhunterfan8302, Biltong44 and IamTheDefinitionOfAwesome for the amazing comments and the kudos.
> 
> So I am sorry for the long wait for the update, I was first without internet and then I got sick. But I am better now and I hope you like this chapter (and the next one which will be coming very soon).

* * *

Alec stood outside the ceremonial room. He knew it was time to enter, time to complete the journey he and Jace had started on together 2 years ago, but something was holding him back. Something was stopping him from crossing that threshold and committing himself to the parabatai union with his brother. He wanted to say he didn’t know what that was, but that would be a lie. It was the same thing that had been haunting him since they completed the last task. His love for Jace.

He knew that as soon as he entered that room and committed to become Jace’s parabatai then any chance of them ever being together in any other was would be gone. Not that he truly thought there was a chance now, but at least currently there was still that possibility, that slight temptation of what if. But once they became parabatai that door would be closed forever.

Closing his eyes Alec took a deep breath before releasing it. As he did so he allowed his mind to show him all the images he had of Jace in his mind, allowed it for just once to show him what he dreamed about them becoming in the dead of the night. He stood there with closed eyes as he watched his wishes playout on the back of his eyelids. Watched as he saw them fighting with a demon that got to close. Saw as that close call caused Jace to realise he loved him to, saw the blonde man grab him and slam their lips together in an earth shattering kiss.

But then things changed.

Because when Jace pulled away from him and they both opened their eyes it was no longer Jace standing in front of him. It was Magnus. The realisation caused shock to appear in his mind but he did not open his eyes and instead he allowed his mind create a completely new scenario. One he had never considered possible before that very moment. He watched as he saw him and Magnus together on the latter’s couch, Tristan held in his arms as Magnus wrapped his own around him. The scene changed again to the two of them running round the room, while a little horned Warlock shrieked and magic flew from his hands as he tried to capture objects that had been magically created to float in the air. He watched as he saw himself standing at the door to Tristan nursery, only now it was a bedroom and Magnus was sat on the bed reading a bedtime story to the Warlock boy. He watched as Magnus gave the boy a kiss and said goodnight, watched as Tristan responded with ‘goodnight, papa, daddy.’

Those words caused his eyes to fly open and he found himself back in the hallway he had previously been standing in, his hand resting on the wall as he breathing laboured like he had been fighting demons for hours. He didn’t understand what was going on. He loved Jace, he knew he did, but his mind… Magnus… he didn’t understand. Finally he managed to get his breathing under control and his heart rate to slow, and finally his brain switched away from the shocked disbelief and started functioning once more. He had realised since being with Tristan that he would someday want his own family. Want his own child. And knowing his own preferences for gender, no doubt this was the only way his subconscious could show him what he could have. Show him what he truly desired in a family. Yes, that was the only logical conclusion to what he had seen. The only reason he could have for replacing Jace with Magnus in his imagination. Because even if there was a chance of him and Jace being together, they could never have a family.

With that realisation he breathed out deeply. It was clear to him now that he wanted a family more than anything. More than Jace. He wanted a family to love more than he could ever love Jace. And with that clarity he straighten up, and moved towards the door. Because he now knew that this was the right decision. That being Jaces parabatai would allow him to let go of his dreams of the younger man, and instead embrace his future. Embrace the chance to have that dream. Embrace a chance to have a family he could call his own.

* * *

Magnus stood in his workroom humming to himself as he mixed the potions he needed for his customers. He still hadn’t arranged a nanny for Tristan so he could work, but for now he had Catarina out in the living room playing with the baby. Or it seemed more truthfully watching him sleep at this present moment in time. Or at least he hoped Tristan was asleep when his friend came to the door of his work room and stood so she could talk to him.

“How about asking Tristan’s mother to look after him when you need to work?” She asked as if they had been in the middle of a conversation instead of at the start of one. Though he guessed they had been having this conversation previously, when he had asked her to come round and help him out. She was just starting it up again, or continuing it, depending on how you looked at it.

“She is dead.” Magnus responded not really concentrating on the words he spoke as he measured out the exact amounts of ingredients he needed.

“Then how did you end up with Tristan?” Catarina asked with a frown of confusion. She had been under the impression that the mother had brought the child to him, and it was obvious why. But if she was dead, then how?...

“Alec brought him.” Magnus replied simply, adding the ingredients into the simmering liquid before stirring it just so while he allowed his magic to infuse his work.

At that Catarina thought for a moment, running through the people she knew, the people she knew that Magnus knew, and not one of them was called Alec. “Who is Alec?”

“Tristan’s Shadowhunter.” Magnus responded without thought. Of course as soon as the words were out of his mouth his eyes widened. He hadn’t been planning on telling Catarina that fact. Oops.

“A Shadowhunter? A Shadowhunter brought you a baby?” Catarina replied in a tone of disbelief as her eyes widened in shock. Because that was the last thing she had ever expected him to say. She did not like Shadowhunters, never really had, even if she knew Magnus did not have the same prejudices as she herself did. But even then she could not see any situation where a Shadowhunter would bring a Downworlder a baby, even if the baby was one of their own.

“He is different to most.” Magnus responded with a shrug, refusing to meet her eyes as he pretended to concentrate on the potion he was creating, though he had no need to now the tricky bit had been completed. Catarina really had picked her time for this conversation he had to say.

At those words and Magnus behaviour Catarina couldn’t help but groan. “Magnus Bane, please tell you haven’t.” she sighed, even if she knew it was pointless. She knew her friend far too well after all, but hey she could live in hope.

“Haven’t what?” Magnus asked, still avoiding her eyes as he knew exactly what she was asking. But there was no way he was going to make it easy for her to gain her answer.

“Gone and fallen for him.” Catarina stated crossing her arms as she did so, though whether to intimidate the reply from her friend or as a defence mechanism wasn’t clear to either of them.

“Of course not.” Magnus replied in a tone of voice he hoped was believable. Because as he had discovered the night previously, he certainly had feelings for Tristan’s Shadowhunter protector, feelings he also knew were returned. Not that he wanted Catarina to know either of those things.

Of course his friend had known him for too long for it to work. “You are a terrible liar, Magnus.” She responded not sure what else to say. I mean she had thought Camille was bad, but a Shadowhunter? That was infinitely worse in her mind. Why could Magnus not just settle down with someone normal? Find a nice Warlock to be with, surely there had to be one somewhere who he could put up with. Or more probably could put up with him.

“Catarina, it is nothing for you to worry about.” Magnus replied turning to her with a sincere smile on his face. He was not going to make any advances towards Alec, no matter how pretty he was. He needed them to be friends, needed Alec to trust him so he could see that Downworlders were not evil as the Clave liked to make their Shadowhunters believe. Needed him to trust him enough that he could help guide the next generation of Nephilim to a way they could all work together, in harmony.

“You are my friend Magnus, of course I am going to worry.” Catarina answered though she had a soft smile on her face too. She knew there was nothing she could say that would stop whatever plan Magnus had, she just hoped he didn’t end up with yet another broken heart. She did not believe her friend would be able to come back from such again. Of course their conversation was broken at that point by a cry coming from the living room. Catarina watched as Magnus moved faster than she thought possible to push past her and collect the baby up in his arms.

“What is it, sweet pea? Did the mean old warlock lady leave you all alone? Don’t worry, Magnus is here for you now.” he murmured giving Catarina a cheeky grin as he said the words. And seeing him holding the boy she realised that no matter what this Shadowhunter did to Magnus, he would not be as he had been before. Because that child in his arms would not let him fall into depression and darkness. The love he had for Tristan would not let him focus only inwards when his heart broke once more. And maybe that was one good thing the Shadowhunter had done for him. He had brought him someone Magnus could love unconditionally, and for that Catarina knew she would give this Alec a chance. But only one mind you, and if he hurt her friend, he better make sure he was a long way from her when he did it, because if she ever found him, he would learn just what kind of retribution a warlock could exact on those who hurt one of their own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the next chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

Izzy, Jace and Alec made their way down the night lit alleys of Brooklyn. They were supposedly on patrol, but the younger two of the three seemed far more interested in celebrating the parabatai union between the two men than looking for demons.

“Come on, Alec. You only have one parabatai ceremony. You have to celebrate it.” Izzy whined at her older brother as she skipped over the filth that littered the streets, making sure not to get the garbage stuck on her stiletto heels.

“We are on patrol.” Alec replied with a smirk as he watched her dance over puddles. He had no idea how she could walk in those shoes let alone fight, but the one time he had suggested she put on something more appropriate he had ended up on his ass with one of her heels at his throat. He had sensibly never mentioned it again.

“She is right, parabatai. We should celebrate.” Jace joined in, smiling widely at being able to now use that word to describe his bond with his brother and best friend. His parabatai.

Alec looked over at Jace and knew he couldn’t say no to that smile, no matter how much he really thought he should. But then he had never been able to say no when the pair of them ganged up on him, so it was nothing new. Of course the feeling of victory he got coursing though him when he came to that realisation was new. It was still slightly overwhelming, the feelings that now passed so easily between him and Jace. They could now communicate without needing to say a word, and that was… strange. But in a good way. A very good way. “Fine.” He eventually uttered, though more for Izzy’s benefit that Jace’s, as the younger man had already known they had won.

“Yes!” Izzy cried in delight before dancing in a more purposeful way towards the road they were heading towards. “Pandemonium isn’t far.” She called over her shoulder to the two men following her. Her smug grin radiating towards her brother who realised that this had been her plan from the moment she suggested a patrol in Brooklyn.

“Race you.” Jace called to her, before moving forwards skirting so close to the girl he managed to grab her round the waist and turn her around before moving just as swiftly out of her way and towards the road, wanting to make sure he was out of range of her whip as he did so.

Izzy responded was a cry of indignation before following her adoptive brother with the aim of making him pay for almost ruining her shoes with his move. Alec followed more sedately with a shake of his head at their antics, though he did make sure he could keep them in sight. He couldn’t let anything happen to either of them after all.

As soon as they entered the club both Izzy and Jace made their way towards the dance floor. Alec watched them go, watched how they both moved almost unconsciously towards a group of Seelies and he knew they would be relatively safe there. Out of all Downworlders the Seelies were of the least concern to the Shadowhunters, mainly because they weren’t truly of this realm, having their own hidden kingdom in the shadows. Therefore they were the safest group of Downworlders for his siblings to be with. As such he turned to look over who else was in the club that evening. They did not come here often, but this was not the first time he and his siblings had ended up here of an evening.

His eyes swept over the other dancers first, noting any that could be an issue as well as making sure that they would not be able to get to his sister or parabatai without warning one of the other of their approach. That done he moved on to the people standing round the dance floor, looking for any sign of hostility on their faces at the dancing Shadowhunters in their midst. Not that he expected to find any. It was known throughout the Shadow World that to cause violence in Pandemonium was akin to exile or death, depending on the severity of the behaviour. He had no idea who decided what was bad, just as he had no idea whose law it was that declared this, all he knew was that as long as Shadowhunters did not start any fights in this club, they would safe from the same happening to them.

Once he had scanned the watchers he moved on to those seated. It was a pattern he had done before and he knew he would no doubt do again, and therefore he didn’t expect to find anything unusual. But then the last time he had done this he hadn’t known Magnus Bane. He eyes travelled over the VIP area, moving over the people with ease, only for him to suddenly freeze in shock and to focus his eyes acutely upon the people sat there. Because no, it couldn’t be… but it was.

Magnus Bane was sat in the centre of the VIP area looking like a king surveying his kingdom from upon high. He looked like the embodiment of hedonism and unmeasurable pleasure. Alec couldn’t breathe as he looked at him. As he took in the mostly open shirt that was draped across his shoulders displaying his bronzed and chiselled chest for all to see, only covered by the gold necklaces and ordainments that adorned his naked skin. As he pulled his eyes upwards to take in the perfectly pointed and styled blue tipped hair and eyes surrounded in perfectly placed smoky eyeshadow that looked almost like a mask to hide their sparkling depths. Hiding eyes that seemed wilder and more sinful than he had ever seen them before.

Eyes that locked onto Alec’s own across the room of hot sweaty bodies. That look drove all the sound of the deep bass and blasting music from Alec’s ears and all he could hear was his own blood pounding below his skin. All he could feel was the wave of desire and lust crash over him in a way he had never felt before, and all he could see was Magnus.

* * *

Magnus sat on the couch in the VIP area of his club, watching all that was below him. Catarina had stayed with Tristan so he could come out tonight. He needed to make sure everything was okay in his club, make sure people saw him there and remembered the rules he set down when this place opened. Make sure it stayed the safe place he always wanted it to be. It also gave anyone who needed to a chance to find him, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He was sat with a group of other Downworlders, but he was apart from them. Not conversing with any of them. For when he was here, he was not one of them, he was above them. He was the mystery, the enigma, the hedonist master of all around him. Here everyone knew of him, but not one person in this room truly knew who he was inside. Here he only allowed them to see his mask, perfected over the centuries of being a leader of his people.

He had just taken a sip of his drink when one of the bouncers approached him, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Three Shadowhunters have just entered.” He said neutrally.

At his words Magnus’ eyes sharpened on the people in front of him, scanning the crowd to find who dared to enter his sanctuary, and make sure he knew of the trouble before it could start. It took less than a minute for him to identify the first of the Shadowhunters. Her long black hair was up in a high ponytail, and her top barely covered her most private of parts, her short skirt doing little better on the bottom. She made no attempt to hide the runes burnt into her skin. Not that he had any issue with the way she was dressed. It took only a second for him to determine she was not here to cause problems, but rather to dance. That was clear at the way she was grinding against one of the Seelie males with abandon.

Moving away from the girl he scanned further until he found Shadowhunter number 2, not far from her. He unlike her was covered in a leather jacket, his runes not on display, but it was obvious from the way he moved he was a predator. He moved like a cat, all grace and slinky movements, but Magnus knew if anyone should do anything to harm the girl or himself he would strike faster than a snake to end them. But he too seemed to be relaxed and dancing. Just enjoying his evening of freedom.

So two down, with that he moved his eyes to those watching the dance floor. He knew Shadowhunters, and he knew that not all three would be dancing, not with the free way the two he had found were dancing. The last would be watching over the others while they relaxed and partied. Scanning the crowd he finally found the last of the group, but it was the last Shadowhunter he ever expected to see here. Because it was Alec. Tristan’s Shadowhunter. The moment his eyes found him, Alec’s found him also. They locked together as if there was no one else in the room and even from the distance across the room Magnus could feel the attraction between them rise.

With a wave of his hand he dismissed the bouncer without separating his eyes from Alec. He was trying to decide what to do. This was not a situation he had ever thought he would find himself in. He wanted to talk to Alec, but he also knew that it would be best for everyone if they were not seen together in public. He thought quickly, before gesturing slightly with his head towards where the corridor to his office sat. He waited until Alec gave him a barely noticeable nod in return before breaking eye contact and standing. He needed to meet Tristan’s Shadowhunter, and find out why he was there.

Alec saw the gesture and thought for a second. He was still in shock at seeing Magnus here, not to mention the feelings he had at seeing Magnus, but he knew one thing clearly in his mind. He needed to talk to him, needed to see if… he wasn’t sure what that if was but, Alec knew he needed to know, something. Therefore he nodded in return, and when Magnus broke eye contact and the world came back to him, Alec made his way towards where Magnus had gestured, with only the need to reach him and his destination in mind, the thought of watching over his siblings not even entering his head as he did so.

* * *

When Alec had made his way to the dark area Magnus had gestured to he found the man himself standing by a door. Without saying a word they both slipped through it into a corridor which Alec followed Magnus down until they came to another door which opened up into a plush office. Upon entry Magnus made his way to his desk, but didn’t move round it to sit behind it, instead resting against it as he turned to the Shadowhunter standing before him.

“Hello Alec.” He said with a flirtatious, sultry smile on his face. He couldn’t help it, he was still in the mind-set he always was when he came to Pandemonium and he couldn’t just switch off his hedonist behaviour.

“Hey.” Alec replied rubbing the back of his neck as he did so. He didn’t know what else to say. Didn’t know how to behave with this Magnus who smiled at him in such a way that caused his stomach to flip. This Magnus who had his sculpted chest on display in such an erotic way, and whose eyes looked as black as night with the dark eyeshadow surrounding them.

“So, is there trouble in my club?” Magnus asked into the silence that followed Alec’s response, wondering if that was why the Shadowhunters were here, though even as he said the words he could not stop himself from leaning backwards on his hands slightly, making his shirt open even further for the man in front of him. He really couldn’t help but display his himself to such an appreciative audience after all.

“No. Wait, yours?” Alec replied frowning when he realised what it was Magnus had said, pulling his eyes from where they had been raking over the body of the man in front of him unconsciously. He owned a club? Really? Though looking at the Magnus in front of him Alec realised he was the epitome of decadence and sinful lust and pleasure. Of course that last thought made a blush form on Alec’s cheeks as his mind went places he would really prefer it didn’t when he was trying to talk to Magnus. Not to mention the fact his eyes seemed to return to looking at his exposed skin with the desire to run his hands across it.

“Yes, mine.” Magnus agreed with a smirk at the colour on his Shadowhunters cheeks. He looked so adorable like that. Hmm, he might just have to find other ways to make his Alec blush in the future. It would be so much fun to see what would cause that response from him. But for now he should probably give the man some leeway, and as such he straightened slightly so he was less ‘on display’ as he continued with, “so if there is no trouble, why are you here?” Trying to be more serious and less flirtatious, though he wasn’t sure how successful he was on either account.

“Izzy and Jace wanted to celebrate our parabatai bond.” Alec explained simply, it was the truth after all, though he found it hard to concentrate on anything other than Magnus right then. Hard to remember he had come there with his siblings, and it still did not cross his mind that he should be out in the club watching over them rather than back here, in a secluded office with the man who stirred him in a way no one ever had, not even Jace.

“Ah.” Magnus replied. So that was who the other two were, his sister and his parabatai. “This does not seem to be the kind of place you would celebrate.” Magnus continued, thinking of the man he knew who cared so much for Tristan. The man he had spent more than a few hours talking to the previous evening. He could not picture that Alec enjoying partying at Pandemonium.

“It’s not.” Alec snorted in response. Because really, he hated clubbing. He didn’t see the point in it, or share the enjoyment his siblings seemed to get from dancing with strangers. Of course that could also be because he spent his whole time watching over the others, or at least, he had… before… not to mention none of the dancers he had ever seen had looked anything like Magnus did right then.

“So how would you celebrate your bond, Alexander?” Magnus asked with a purr in his voice as he moved away from the desk and towards the man in front of him. He couldn’t help himself. Alec was so delectable standing there in front of him, like forbidden fruit. Not to mention the look the Shadowhunter had in his eyes as he seemed unable to tear them away from his exploded chest for more than a few heart beats at a time. With that provocation there was no way Magnus could stop himself from trying to temp him. His mind was still too far into the persona he played within the club to not do so. Though the response he got was not the one he expected. Though as it was also one he was very happy with, he was most definitely not going to complain.

Alec heard Magnus’ words, saw him move towards him and for the first time in his life he threw everything to the wind and acted purely on instinct. It was as if his mind was not in control of what his body was doing as he took a step towards Magnus. He had no active thought directing his hands as they moved the grab the edges of the Warlock’s shirt, and he really wasn’t thinking when he slammed their lips together. It almost felt like he was dreaming as he kissed Magnus, almost like the vision he had had before his parabatai ceremony, but it was also so much more. Because this time he wasn’t watching it happen, he was doing it. He could feel Magnus lips under his own, could feel how they moved with a confidence and surety that allowed him to give control over to the other man without any conscious thought. He could feel Magnus’ arms wrap around him, pulling him close as he tilted his head to allow their kiss to deepen. Could feel the tip of Magnus tongue run along his lips, causing them to part in a gasp of desire. Could feel the explosion of emotions and lust and desire that coursed through him when Magnus explored his mouth with his tongue, and his body with his hands.

It was a heady experience and one Alec never wanted to end. He wanted this, wanted Magnus, and he never wanted to let go of the man in front of him. Never wanted to be without the man that he had sudden clarity he could fall in love with. A man who could return those feelings in a way no one he had ever known before could. This this was what he wanted, more than anything. Magnus was what he wanted. Not Jace, not some unnamed female Shadowhunter who he could have babies with. No he wanted Magnus, and only Magnus. This was what he truly was wishing for before his parabatai ceremony. This feeling, this desire, this passion, this… there was no words he could use to describe the feelings he had flowing through him. All he knew was that this was it. This was what he had always wanted, but never known he could have. It was mind-blowing, and it was perfect. And for the first time in his life, Alec found himself able to give himself over completely to something, to someone without thought of consequences or shame.

But like all good things, it had to end, even if it was only so they could breathe once more.

“Well, I certainly like the way you celebrate.” Magnus murmured with a flirtatious smile when their lips separated, though he still had his arms wrapped around the younger man, not yet wanting to separate from him. Not yet wanting to let him go, as he knew that if he did Alec would come to senses, and he would much prefer if neither of them did that right then if he could possibly help it.

His words caused Alec to blush deeply as he realised exactly what he had done. He had _kissed_ Magnus Bane. He had kissed _Magnus Bane_. Oh by the angel, he had _kissed Magnus Bane_. With that thought he pulled out of the other man’s arms, almost fleeing across the room to put distance in-between them, his eyes wide at the realisation of it.

“I should, I need to go.” He stuttered out, trying to stop the horror of all he had realised from crashing down on him, or at least not letting it show that that was what was happening. Not that he succeeded. He couldn’t believe he had done that. I mean it was one thing to like men, but to kiss _Magnus Bane_ , no it was too much. He couldn’t deal with all the confusing thoughts and feelings coursing through him. He needed to go. Now.

“Of course. I hope Tristan and I will see you soon, Alexander.” Magnus replied with a smile. Even as he felt bereft without the man in his arms. He could see the thoughts and panic going through Alec’s eyes and he understood that he needed to let the man go before he would come back. Here tonight they had changed their dynamic, and his plan had swiftly changed with it. It was no longer a case of becoming friends with Alec to show the good side of Downworlders, no now there was his personal goals involved. He wanted Alexander, and he knew the other man felt the same. He needed to play the long game now to get his newly realised goals. He just hoped he would come back. And if by mentioning Tristan he knew he was making sure Alec remembered the connection the two of them had prior to that evening, well Magnus wasn’t above using any tools at his disposal to get what he wanted. 

“Yes, soon.” Alec agreed not sure what he was saying but knew he needed to say it so he could leave. As such as soon as the words left his lips he was out of the office and running. He needed to get his siblings and they needed to leave. And then, well he had no idea what he was going to do then. He just needed to go. He couldn’t think about the future, he just… he needed out. Now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies. I would like to thank Sloth2108, WifeOfEveryone, TheonewiththeProfoundbond, catt021, IamTheDefinitionOfAwesome, Biltong44, Nanuk08 and Shadowhunterfan8302 for the awesome comments and kudos.
> 
> So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.

* * *

Jace had been dancing, as oblivious as any Shadowhunter could be at what was going on around him. But suddenly he was filled with a wave of desire. And he knew it wasn’t his own. He span quickly, eyes scanning for his parabatai, wondering just who it was that had attracted Alec’s attention. And as he did so he could help but wonder how many times in the past Alec had found someone attractive and yet never acted on it due to watching over them. Because he knew his brother had never made a move on anyone else before, but then he had also thought he hadn’t been interested. Well time to change that now. He knew Alec was interested, and he was going to make sure that this time he did something about it.

He finally found him, and with practised ease followed where his eyes were pointing. What he saw at the end of Alec’s stare shocked him. Because it wasn’t some hot girl Alec was lusting after, no it was a man. By the angel, he did not see that one coming. But even as he thought that he noticed that Alec’s stare was being returned. That the man was looking back at Alec just as intensely as his parabatai was looking at him. Jace couldn’t help but swing his head between the two, wondering what was going on. Because there was something more than what he could see. The looks they were giving each other were not those that you gave a stranger you found attractive across a room. He should know he had shared more than a few in his young life. Then the guy gestured with his head towards a dark corner, and Alec nodded in agreement. And Jace could only watch with his mouth hanging open as his brother, his best friend and parabatai headed towards the darkness with a determination he had only ever seen when they fought. Oh by the angel just what was going on?

He was frozen with indecision for a moment, wondering if he should follow his brother. Whether he should go and make sure that he was okay with the strange man who he could see managed to cut a path through the crowded club with ease. But then he felt something else through the bond as his brother entered the dark area. It was a strange combination of desire and excitement. But there was no fear. That reassured Jace as nothing else could. Alec would be fine. And well if he wasn’t Jace would be the first to know, now they had their parabatai bond. Therefore instead of following his brother he moved closer to his sister. Moving so he was dancing within reach of the girl who unconsciously mirrored his movements so they soon found themselves dancing back to back surrounded by Seelies of both sexes. Jace was happy with this, because now, if he felt anything wrong with Alec, he and Izzy would be able to move as one to his side. This was the best outcome he decided, though he couldn’t stop the smirk that appeared on his face as he felt the desire spiked and mingle with lust and pleasure. It seemed his brother was having a good time then. Way to go Alec.

Of course following from that spike came confusion and panic. That was not so good. What had the man done to Alec? By the angel he would make him pay for whatever it was. It was as these thoughts were going through his head that Jace seamlessly moved across the dance floor, heading towards the dark corner he had seen Alec and man go. He didn’t notice that Izzy was shadowing him. That she had gone from dancing obliviously to tense observation as soon as he had tensed. But he didn’t need to know that. No, all his thoughts were on Alec.

Just as Jace reached the edge of the dance floor he saw his parabatai moving away from the dark corner, almost running through the crowd that seemed to part for him without taking any note of who he was. It was as if he projected some kind of bubble around him that made people move out of his way unaware. As soon as Jace saw him he checked to see if the other man was following him, but it seemed Alec had exited the dark corner alone. Nodding to himself that that was good he turned to see if he could find Izzy, only to find her right at his side, a smirk on her lips when she noticed his startled expression.

“Time to go, then?” She asked with a tilt off her head, even as she too tracked Alec’s movements through the crowd of people. She had no idea what was going on or why Alec had been in that corner, nor who he was running from. All she knew was that Jace was worried, and her brother looked rattled. It was not something she saw often on his face, if ever. And that was more than enough to tell her that her night of fun was over. She would find out what had happened later, but for now her only concern was her brothers.

“Yeah, time to go.” Jace agreed. And with that they both moved with only one purpose. To reach Alec’s side and leave the building with him in-between them.

* * *

By the time they had made it back to the Institute Alec’s mask was firmly in place. He gave a report of their patrol, neglecting to mention their side trip to Pandemonium. Once done he moved with ease to his room. He was refusing to let his mind think about what had happened, about what he had done, about what he had discovered there is Magnus’ office. No that part of his mind was locked away. If only he could keep it that way forever, but Alec knew that would not be possible. There had been too much, he had felt too much, to be able to forget it, no matter how much he really wanted to.

Finally he reached the refuge of his room. There he could finally let himself try to figure out what was going on with his mind. There he could try to work out what it all meant. There he could try and decipher the thoughts and feelings that had caused him to do what he had done. That had caused him to kiss Magnus Bane.

With a sigh at that thought he collapsed to sit on his bed, his elbows resting on his knees as he pushed his hands through his hair, as if he was hoping that in doing so he could pull the memories and feelings from his mind. He didn’t know what he was going to do now. Didn’t know what he could do now. He didn’t know what it all meant. In fact he was so far into his confusion and panic he didn’t even hear his door open, nor notice when someone sat down beside him. In fact it wasn’t until Jace spoke that he realised he wasn’t alone.

* * *

Jace had entered Alec’s room without knocking. He could feel the turmoil his parabatai was in and he knew he needed him. But once he was there, staring at Alec sitting on his bed with his head in his hands Jace realised he had no idea what to say or do. I mean this was a completely new situation for the both of them. This was their first night of being bonded, and he was dealing with all these crazy emotions from Alec. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had felt these before. If this was a common occurrence for Alec, and he just hadn’t noticed. Couldn’t help but wonder if he had been so blinded by his own life to not notice his brothers. I mean he hadn’t even known Alec likes guys, how by the angel should he know if this was a regular thing or not? He really wasn’t ready for this. But ready or not, he had to do this. He had to be there for Alec, because that was what being parabatai meant. Being there for each other.

As such he sat next to his brother, not touching him, and decided it would be best just to get straight to the point. As such he didn’t hesitate to ask, “What did he do?”

“What?” Alec asked confusion in his eyes as he lifted his head to stare at his parabatai who had suddenly appeared at his side.

“The guy. I mean you seemed to be enjoying it at first but then… so, what did he do?” Jace clarified when he saw the confusion in Alec’s eyes. Maybe he should have explained his first question a little more than he did.

“Nothing. I was the one that kissed him.” Alec replied still confused about what Jace was talking about. Magnus did nothing but respond to his actions. He was the one who did anything. He was the reason he was feeling this confusion and turmoil right then. It had nothing to do with Magnus… well had very little to do with what Magnus did, maybe. Oh he didn’t know anymore.

“Okay. Did he kiss you back?” Jace asked confused as well now. He had thought the guy had done something to Alec, but that seemed not to be the case. So why was his brother being like this? Why was he feeling the mess he was?

“Does it matter? He’s a guy. A Warlock for angels sake. What happened doesn’t matter.” Alec cried out in frustration at the question. Whether Magnus kissed him back was immaterial. It was the fact that it was Magnus that caused these feelings inside him that mattered.

“If you like him, it matters.” Jace replied, starting to see what the problem was. It seems Alec had finally found a Downworlder he liked. And yeah he could guess the idea of liking guys would be difficult, especially when Alec was expected to get married and continue the family name and all that. Add in he was a Warlock, okay. But still he himself had liked Downworlders before. It didn’t have to be a major issue.

“Jace, you don’t get it.” Alec sighed. He knew what his parabatai was trying to say, but his feelings for Magnus weren’t like that. He wasn’t some fling. He was what Alec wanted. He was someone he knew that if he let himself he could love. And he could never have that. He was a Shadowhunter, loving a male Warlock was one of the worst things he could possibly do.

Jace opened his mouth to refute those words, but he stopped himself as he actually thought about it. And he realised his brother was right. “No, your right I don’t. So explain it to me.” He said instead turning to look Alec in the eyes as he did so.

“I can’t.” Alec whispered, though whether he felt he couldn’t tell him because they were Shadowhunters, or because of his past feelings for Jace, or if it was because he couldn’t explain it to himself, Alec really didn’t know. It was probably a combination of all three in reality.

“I’m your parabatai, Alec. Aou can tell me anything.” Jace replied sincerely, moving his hand so he could grab Alec’s arm, squeezing it. Trying to show through that action that he would be there for him.

“I don’t know where to being.” Alec responded staring at his parabatai who was sitting at his side, showing him his complete support.

“I like the beginning, but you can start at end and work backwards if you want.” Jace replied with a smirk at how his words caused a huff of laughter to escape Alec’s lips. That was better, that was good. If he could calm Alec down, surely they could find a way through this, together.

“I kissed him.” Alec responded deciding that starting at the end would probably be easier. I mean this was the part that Jace was aware of after all.

“Yeah I got that.” Jace replied with a nod of his head in encouragement to keep going.

“And he kissed me back.” Alec said, turning to stare at the stained glass window across from his bed as his mind automatically took him back to the kiss as he said the words. As he remembered the feel of Magnus’ lips against his own. As he remembered the feel of the other man’s tongue in his mouth and his hands pressed against his back as he pulled his body closer.

“That’s good Alec. Trust me, much better than a smack in the face.” Jace replied with a smile at the flood of emotions he received from his parabatai. From what he could tell it was one fine kiss. And that was definitely of the good in his mind.

“Do I want to know?” Alec asked raising his eyebrow as he turned to back to look at the man next to him at his words.

“Probably not.” Jace responded with a shrug and a smirk on his lips. Yeah probably best not to discuss the right hook he had gotten from kissing one of the Shadowhunter girls. Of course his words were then proceeded by silence, as Alec couldn’t work out how to say anything else. He still didn’t understand all that he was feeling, now he was away from the man he had kissed.

Finally Jace spoke once more. “You like him.” He said. It was a statement not a question, but still Alec took it as one.

“I don’t know.” He replied still not sure what he felt, not really deep down.

“Trust me, you do. I felt it.” Jace responded confidently. That was a fact in his mind. He knew what liking someone felt like, and Alec had it bad for the guy.

“And you’re okay with that?” Alec asked quietly. He had to know. Had to make sure Jace would be okay with him liking a man and a Warlock. Had to make sure that his feelings for Magnus would not cause him to lose his parabatai when they had only just bonded.

“As long as you’re happy and he treats you right, then yes. Of course if he hurts you I will have to hunt him down and kill him.” Jace replied sincerely. I mean why shouldn’t he be okay? Alec was his parabatai. His happiness was the only thing that was important to him.

At that Alec laughed hard. He couldn’t believe Jace had just said that. The idea of him trying to hunt down and kill Magnus Bane was hilarious. “Good luck. He’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn.” He finally managed to say through his laughter.

At that Jace’s mouth dropped open. Because it seemed Alec didn’t go for anyone normal. No he had to go for one of the most influential Downworlders. “You kissed Magnus Bane?” He asked in shock.

“Yeah.” Alec responded a smile on his lips at Jace’s response to his words. That was rather amusing.

“Wow, did not see that one coming. Okay. How’d you guys meet, because I am guessing tonight was not the first time you’ve seen each other.” Jace replied pulling himself together. He needed to know everything, and he needed to know now. I mean Magnus Bane was not the kind of guy you just picked up in club. There had to be something more to this story, a hell of a lot more.

“It’s not.” And with that Alec proceeded to tell Jace all about his connection to Magnus. Proceeded to tell him all about Tristan, and Jace listening couldn’t help but smile at the way his parabatai’s eyes lit up as he talked about the baby and the Warlock whose charge he was in. It was clear to Jace that what Alec felt for Magnus and Tristan was more than mere infatuation. It was more than lust or an idle crush. No looking at his parabatai and feeling his emotions through their bond he could already see that his brother felt more for Magnus than he had ever felt for anyone. And it was clear to Jace that if he let himself Alec could love the Warlock.

Jace wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Not because he didn’t want Alec to fall in love, but more because he didn’t know what Magnus felt for Alec. And that was a concern in his mind. He didn’t want him to get his heart broken, or be hurt if he allowed himself to act on the feelings he had for the Warlock. But Jace wasn’t sure how he could make sure Alec wouldn’t be hurt. I mean it wasn’t like he knew Magnus, so he couldn’t go up and quiz him about his intentions with his brother. Then add into the fact that Alec was a Shadowhunter and Magnus a Warlock, and so many things were against them. But the counter to that argument were the feelings that were pouring through the bond from the man at his side. He really didn’t know what to say, what to suggest to help him through this.

So instead Jace said nothing, and just sat there at his parabatai’s side as he talked and felt. Sat there and offered what support he could to help his brother work through his feelings. Offered what support he could in the hopes it would help Alec to come to a decision about what he wanted to do, and where he wanted his relationship with Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn to go.


End file.
